I live downtown, I work downtown and I go to school downtown... 99% of my time these days is spent downtown.  Now when you're in a big city, it's important to realize that you're in this big city with a lot of other people, and thusly one should be aware of certain rules of public etiquette that applicable to city dwellers.  Unfortunately, these unspoken rules are apparently not known to a large segment of the population.  Now I know the old saying about casting stones and being free from sin, but anyone who knows me knows that I go out of my way to treat complete strangers with the same courtesy I offer my best friend... I guess it's just a little too much to ask for even a tenth of that courtesy from the average person in Toronto.  Here are a few of my metropolitan pet peeves:

5)  There is nothing I love seeing more in a public washroom than a toilet bowl full of some other person's shit.  I hate to be graphic, but I could really go without knowing that Buddy McPoopsAlot had corn to eat last night.  Is it really that tall an order for people to flush the toilet?  Don't want to touch the handle?  Use your foot.  You probably don't want to see someone else's faeces floating in a toilet, do us all that same courtesy and flush for a change!

4)  People who give their backpack or purse a seat on public transit really are the most selfish people in the city.  I can deal with not having a seat to sit on because you don't want to hold your bag on your lap, or *GASP* put it on the floor; but when I see a perfectly able-bodied person taking up two seats with a bag and themselves while an elderly person is forced to hang on to a pole for dear life... it just kills me.  I often ask the person to move their bag so the old folk can sit down, or offer my own seat.  And guys here's a tip, if you're sitting down and you notice a woman without a seat why not offer yours to her?  Yes your feet hurt from work, but you're a man: start acting like one.  Show the women of the world that chivalry isn't dead.

3)  If I see another person reach for the grocery store conveyor belt separator thingy out of fear that my two packages of kraft dinner, three cans of tomato soup and carton of orange juice will some how get mixed up with their groceries I'm going to smack them.  I'm a broke university student, every bit of food I buy is a calculated and counted on purchase, I assure you that I will keep my scant food items separated from your precious and mighty groceries.

2)  This one goes out to the teenagers of the city, and what a fruitless complaint this will prove to be.  For lack of a better term: Shut the fuck up!  Your boisterous laughter and yelling at one another in public places is enough, but then you go and run around subway platforms pushing each other with no regard for anyone around you.  I know it's a lot to ask of you dumb asses to have some common god damned courtesy for those of us who have no choice but to be in your presence, and I also know that I was a dumb ass too when I was your age.  But that doesn't give you a free pass, because I wasn't half the dumb ass you teens today are.  I just made myself feel old.

1)  And finally escalators.  If you're like me and you spend some time on the TTC, in malls or other public buildings then chances are you have to use an escalator from time to time.  Escalators are a lot like highways, if you're slow you stay in the right lane and let the faster cars go by you in the left lane.  I'm betting most people even if they don't drive have been on a highway before, and yet somehow people don't understand the rules of an escalator.  You walk on the left side and stand on the right side.  You don't stand side-by-side blocking the left and right sides of the escalator, you stand in a line on the right side.  You and your girlfriend making out on the escalator doesn't make it easier or quicker for me to get to work in the morning.  My time is a finite thing, and you sir and madam are wasting it.

Understand that I am not a cranky guy.  I'm a very laid back person, and these things are pretty much the only things that get under my skin.  If you do any of these incredibly annoying things out in the wide world, then you fail at playing
a functioning member of society.  We're all in this together.  Why don't we try to make things easier for each other, and most importantly, me.