Let the record show that alcohol-fueled philosophical debates that encompass the entirety of a night are fun and should happen more often. At some point last evening; when Guitar Hero 3 began to grow tiresome, my friends and I broke out the Dominican rum, Ouzo and vodka and started drinking. We talked about life, women, religion and politics. And as things usually go when aided by substance, the topics of religion and politics led to a philosophical debate. The debate was about whether or not Richard Dawkins, scientist, atheist and author of some renown, was an asshole; or at least whether he presented his ideas in an asshole-ish manner. Suffice to say, the argument led to discussions on the nature of thought, instinct and perception, how quantum physics and philosophy intermingle, and reason versus faith.
I'd like to think as people with philosophy and political science degrees, we tackled some very heady issues. However, it's more likely that we were only making sense to our own drunken selves and that had an outsider been present they would have had a good laugh at our expense. Drunk or not, I enjoyed myself.
Rumour: Gamespot's editorial director fired over Kane & Lynch review
Controversy is surrounding the firing of Jeff Gerstmann, the senior editor at Gamespot. Gamespot's video game reviews tell it like it is, and pull no punches...and apparently in Mr. Gerstmann's case that was the problem. It seems that CNET, Gamespot's parent company had just signed an advertising agreement with Eidos, developers and distributors of Kane & Lynch: Dead Men. The rumour is that because Gerstmann's review of Kane & Lynch gave it a less than stellar 6.0 out of a possible 10, he was fired and that Eidos pressured CNET to do so.
Gerstmann was in fact let go from Gamespot, but the exact reason is not known due to 'no comment' from all involved. If the rumoured basis for his termination is the case, it raises some issues for the entire game reviewing community. When editorial content is suppressed for business interests, then some very serious issues of integrity must be addressed. One need only look at what Gamespot's site looked like just hours ago, plastered with Kane & Lynch advertising; and notice that Gerstmann's biting video review of the game is no longer present on the site to know that something fishy is going on. Joystiq has the rest of the developing story.
Lastly, my friend Christie has finally returned to the internet for a third and hopefully final time. Exhausticated.com is her new venture, so check it out if you're like me and enjoy random internet hilarity. Welcome back and godspeed ma'am.
And now for another exciting night of working at an unnamed big box electronics retailer! Friday night WOO!
I know these pictures have probably been posted everywhere else a million times over already, but I wanted to post them anyway. I'm a child of the 80's, and as such Indiana Jones practically raised me; when he wasn't cracking his whip, hanging out with Asian kids or busting Nazi skulls.
It's good to finally see some decent high resolution shots of Harrison Ford back in his Indiana Jones getup. Yes, he looks old... yes, that pants waist is looking a little high... but I still think he pulls it off. It's also funny to see Shia Leboeuf in full 1950's greaser mode. I'm looking forward to the new Indy movie, I'm still on the fence about the name though... Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Well, at least it's not a prequel.
Head on over to Ain't It Cool News to see the full high resolution versions You can actually see inside Harrison Ford's pores and wrinkles, it's kind of impressive.
I spent a great deal of my childhood playing video games. Probably too much of my childhood was devoted to games, but that's another story entirely. I mostly played Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis and PC games. Like anyone, I often ran out of lives, got game overs, and lost save files from time to time(thanks Evan!), but at the end of the day I was a pretty adept little gamer. I had beaten most of the games I owned by the age of 10, and counted myself as an above average video game player. In the end though, it didn't matter how inherently skilled I was at games, there were always those enemies that did everything they could to ruin my video game day.
Game design has definitely come a long way. Sometimes I wonder if game designers were trying to be dicks back in the 80's and early 90's, because good game design should not involve driving a player insane with frustration. There is a difference between challenging a player and being an absolute jerk about the level of game difficulty. In a way though, the insane difficulty, and ridiculous moments of frustration make older games endearing to me. Even if they did confound me at every turn, they will always have a special place in my heart.
As tribute to all those frustrating childhood gaming moments, I present to you my list of the ten most annoying video game baddies of all time. Not bosses mind you, just the regular run-of-the-mill enemies whose job it was to annoy the crap out of the player. Feel free to add your own.
10. The Football Player - Contra (Arcade and NES, 1988)
This delightful bastard from the NES classic Contra did little in the way of shooting at you (unlike every other enemy in Contra), but man did he run toward you! That was his basic attack, running menacingly toward you. Nothing says jungle warfare quite like a football uniform. Football Player and a bunch of his buddies just ran at you in wave after wave, often jumping off cliffs to their untimely 8-bit deaths in an a desperate attempt to kill Bill and/or Lance. Yes, poor kamikaze footballer, it was his lot in life to ruin your day by running into you.
9. Koopa Troopa - Super Mario Bros. (NES, 1985)
Coming in green or red variety, the seemingly innocuous Koopa Troopas didn't do much other than get in your way. Koopas were very easy to kill, requiring Mario or Luigi to simply stomp on their little heads(so violent when you think about it), but that wasn't what you had to worry about. It was their shells. Koopa shells could be used as a weapon by Mario, he could kick them and send them flying at high speed, useful yes, but safe? Not at all. Koopa shells bounce wildly in the opposite direction when they strike a solid object like a pipe or wall, quite often resulting in the self-inflicted and infuriating death of the player. Those shells are a menace to gamers everywhere, Shigeru Miyamoto! What were you thinking!?
8. Blue Darknut - The Legend of Zelda (NES, 1986)
As my dad and I both played through Zelda back in the late 80's, we came to realize that we hated the Blue Darknut. The armoured baddie that populated the last few dungeons in the game, the feared level 8 and level 9. They chased poor Link down, and the only way you could kill them was to hit them not once, but twice on the side or from behind. A difficult feat, when all the bastards did was run at you with their sword and shield very much pointed at you. In addition to being hard to kill, the NES couldn't handle too many of them on the screen at once, and the frame rate slowed to a crawl if more than six showed up in a given room. I always dreaded level 8 because of them. The frame rate would drop and the music would slow, as those unstoppable Darknuts closed in on poor Link..
7. Fast Zombie - Half-Life 2 (PC, 2004)
What's worse than a slow, stupid, lumbering zombie out to kill you? A smart, fast, screaming zombie that can climbing buildings and really wants to tear your face off, of course! First seen in the Ravenholme section of the Half-Life 2, these unsettling, skinless bastards come out of the proverbial woodwork and then some. They aren't terribly hard to kill, a few blasts from Gordon Freeman's trusty shotgun will dispatch them, but it's the fact that they're so agile and come at you in groups that makes them tough. When you hear that high pitched wail in the distance you know the fast zombie is headed your way.
6. Skelerang - Castlevania Series (Multiple Platforms)
Honestly, who the $%#& gives a reanimated skeleton not one, but two boomerangs? The answer is: Dracula. What an ass.
5. Gran with Thermal Detonators - Dark Forces/Jedi Knight Series (PC, 1997)
In the Star Wars universe there is a species of alien called Gran. Gran have three eyes, and resemble bipedal goats. Hilarious you say? Yes, very hilarious, save for one thing. In the Star Wars games, these goat-bastards have a penchant for throwing thermal detonators, the Star Wars equivalent of a grenade. Gran will toss them at you no matter the circumstance or distance. Even if they kill themselves in the process the Gran will always throw a grenade your way, and barring that will attempt to use some form of alien pugilism against the player. Not too bright it would seem... clearly only a dumb ass would try to punch a guy with a lightsabre.
4. Garg - Commander Keen (PC, 1990)
The smaller green Martians that Commander Keen encountered would just push you and hop around like the one eyed idiots they were. What the player really had to watch out for their bigger, meaner cousin the Garg. These aggressive bastards would walk around minding their own business, but upon spotting the player they would charge him at tremendous speed. If the Garg connected with his tackle, this would of course instantly kill Commander Keen. The thing that made the Garg annoying, was that almost every other enemy in the game is fairly docile and didn't or couldn't actually kill Commander Keen. Upon first encountering the Garg, the player often assumes that that maybe the giant Garg is equally harmless... It is not.
3. Engineers - Command & Conquer Series (Multiple Platforms)
The Command & Conquer games feature a class called the engineer. The engineer unit has the ability to capture enemy buildings and place them under your control. An engineer rush is a battle tactic where you send as many engineers as you can into an enemy base and try to capture important buildings. Naturally, this is a fun tactic to use against the enemy, but having it done to you is particularly annoying. Even more insulting is having a computer opponent engineer rush you. Engineer rushing is the gaming equivalent of taking a dump in somebody's living room and then blaming it on their kid. It's a dick move, and because of this C&C engineers make the list.
2. Flying Cheep Cheeps - Mario Series (NES)
It really doesn't matter how adept a player is at Mario games, run into a Flying Cheep Cheep the wrong way, and it's game over. These flying fish dart across the screen; unimpeded by ground, water or geography, in a seemingly random pattern. If they hit Mario's body on any other part but his feet, damage will be inflicted. Nothing is more infuriating than nearly completing a difficult Mario level, only to be struck down a mere jump away from the end by a flying fish. Cheep Cheeps aren't particularly fearsome... It's just the arbitrary nature in which they fly toward and kill Mario that is the frustrating part.
1. Medusa Heads - Castlevania Series (Multiple Platforms) .
From the school of thought that brought you the Flying Cheep Cheep come the Medusa Heads of the Castlevania Series. First off, who knew that Medusa had multiple heads... I for one didn't. Secondly, why is it that said heads have the power of flight? God damn Dracula, quit messing with shit for your own amusement... I know it's probably your hobby, but surely you can do something more productive with your time than designing freakish monstrosities to kill the Belmont clan.
Medusa Heads have no attack, they just fly across the screen in a wavy pattern. They can frequently be found in great numbers when ascending clock towers, or platforming above bottomless pits. Normally, they were pretty easy to avoid if you were quick, but often due to the layout of the level they were unavoidable. Killing the player by knocking him off a platform with a Medusa Head is dickish game design Konami, and yet you continue to include Medusa Heads in Castlevania games! The collective gamer rage induced by these pesky heads could power a small to moderate sized space station. - Will
I like games. I've made no secret of it in the past, but I really just want to make it clear how much I like them. Maybe a little too much... but I'll leave such judgements to the addiction experts.
I have my work cut out for me this month though, as November will see the release of some of the most anticipated games of the year. As the owner of a Wii, Playstation 3, Xbox 360 and a decent gaming PC, I can play them all... I just can't afford them all.
Gaming industry... I like you guys. But clearly you hate us... Damn you for making it so hard for the hardcore gamer! I've compiled a list of all my must play games that have either already come out this month, or will be coming out in the next two weeks. As I can only afford to buy maybe two of these games right now, this post will help me make my decision. It's also a chance for me to tell you about all the great games that are stupidly coming out within days of one another this November! Hooray consumerism!!!
Super Mario Galaxy - Wii Release Date: November 12th
The Wii is finally getting a true sequel to one of the greatest games of all time; Mario 64. After the good, but slightly disappointing Super Mario Sunshine for the Gamecube, fans of Mario have been wringing their hands in anticipation since Super Mario Galaxy was first announced in 2006. The game is finally here and the reviews are crazily good(basically nothing under 9.5 out of 10!), and we should expect no less. First party Nintendo titles, especially Mario 3D platformers always have a crazy amount of polish and great game design. Mario 64 basically created the 3D platforming genre, and Super Mario Galaxy apparently raises the bar on that genre to the next level. Assassin's Creed - PS3, Xbox 360, PC Release Date: November 14th
You get to play as an assassin during the Third Crusade in the Holy Land. Given that premise, I'm already sold... But apparently Ubisoft Montreal went and made a pretty great game, which is win-win for me. The developers have recreated in beautiful detail the cities of Jerusalem, Acre and Damascus as they may have appeared in the year 1191. Add to this an ability to scale and climb almost any structure in the game, and of course the whole assassin thing and you have yourself a winning combo. Oh and the producer of the game, Jade Raymond is hot... and Ubisoft has had no qualms with using her charms to sell the game.
Who am I to argue with their wisdom? Kane and Lynch: Dead Men - PS3, Xbox 360, PC Release Date: November 14th
In what is sure to be a controversial game, two men, Kane and Lynch - one a flawed mercenary and the other a medicated psychopath - are sentenced to death for crimes they more than likely committed. Just prior to their scheduled executions, they escape from prison and go into business with a mysterious criminal syndicate, committing a series of high stakes robberies and heists. You play as Kane; the normal one... and get to deal with the psychopathic Lynch as your AI or Co-op controlled partner during the course of the game. The game is from the creators of the morally grey Hitman series, and I expect Kane and Lynch offers the player up even more moral dilemmas to be solved... with a hail of gun fire and explosions of course. Crysis - PC Release Date: November 13th
The game that rewrites the rules of the first person shooter genre is here, and if you don't have literally a super-computer you won't be able to enjoy it. I can run the game, just not well. The story doesn't seem to be reinventing the wheel, super-soldier, battling mercenaries and aliens in exotic locales... But I'm sure the gameplay and beautiful graphics will make up for what sounds like a pretty standard FPS story. FarCry developer CryTek has pushed the technological envelope with Crysis, to the point where my modest gaming rig no longer stands a chance. I can wait for an upgrade before I play this game. Mass Effect - Xbox 360, PC Release Date: November 20th
Bioware has always been a favourite developer of mine. They're Canadian, and they developed the Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic games which I enjoyed immensely. Hopefully, the fact that they were just bought by Electronic Arts will not effect the quality of the titles they produce, because if Mass Effect is as great as it looks; expect even greater things from Bioware in the future. The super-customizable, squad-based, open-ended role-playing game promises to be an engaging and cinematic experience. Now if I could just get a TV to do those HD graphics some justice I'd be all set.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune - PS3 Release Date: November 20th
The Playstion 3 is finally getting some decent exclusive titles. I didn't know much about Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, other than a lot of buzz; then I tried the demo and was thoroughly impressed. The game was absolutely beautiful looking on my standard definition TV, I can only imagine how great it looks in high definition. The controls were intuitive, the enemy AI challenging, and the gameplay was surprisingly fun. Uncharted plays like the Tomb Raider games should have, and doesn't rely on Lara Croft's boobs to sell the game. Count me intrigued, I may just have to check out Uncharted.
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare - PC, Xbox 360, PS3 Release Date: November 5th
The realistic and frantic combat of the Call of Duty series finally comes to the modern era. Call of Duty 1 and 2 were some of my favourite PC games, I see no reason why COD4 shouldn't be added to that list. The story is straight out of Tom Clancy book, Russian ultra-nationalists fund a coup in a middle-east country to distract the US and Britain from their real plan... steal a bunch of nuclear weapons and overthrow the current Russian government. You play as various special forces soldiers in the British and American forces, and are tasked with stopping these crazy Russians from starting World War 3. I'm in.
So there you have it. The games I want to play, but can't afford to play right now. I've got my hands full with Guitar Hero 3 and Team Fortress 2 at the moment, so maybe I'm better off waiting. Now the real question is, should I buy Rock Band next month or not?
FipiLele